“I used to like Beth and took her on our trips a lot of times. Recently, I invited the girls to go to a farm for a pumpkin patch and pick some apples. We went, it was a great time, and some pictures went on Facebook. I got a call from Beth asking why she wasn’t invited.”
The woman explained to the readers that she didn’t invite Beth since they would have needed to stop frequently while wandering around the vast orchards. She also mentioned that Beth had wanted to spend most of their last trip to the mall sitting on a bench.
When Beth called to ask why she hadn’t been invited to the orchard excursion, the woman lied and told her it was only a family trip. Beth, on the other hand, called the woman out on her deception.
The woman then told Beth that she hadn’t been invited because of her weight and the fact that she pushed them to stop frequently, ruining their ladies’ outings since Beth needed to sit down.
Beth was shocked, labeled the woman a “jerk,” and then hung up the phone. The woman’s son then began texting her, telling her she needed to apologize to Beth, but the woman’s daughters supported her, claiming they were tired of Beth ruining their trips.
The woman then sought Reddit readers for their unbiased thoughts on whether she was wrong to exclude her daughter-in-law from family activities because of her weight.
What Did Redditors Have to Say?
While some thought the mom was wrong to exclude her daughter-in-law, many others assured her she had done the right thing and just needed to say it better.
One person said they would be annoyed by anyone who asked why they were not invited to something, especially if they wanted to do something special with their daughters. The person said Beth pushed too hard, and the woman pushed back, which was understandable.
The person added that when you are not invited somewhere, chances are that the reason is not a good one, and Beth should have accepted the kind answer her mother-in-law gave her rather than accusing her of lying.
Another person said Beth should be okay with not being included in things that were too physically taxing for her or find something that helped her move with the group more easily. The person also hoped that when the woman included Beth, she would choose things that wouldn’t require too much physical fitness.
The same person said they thought Beth’s attitude rather than her fitness level would be the things that excluded her from activities with the family in the future. One person who had gained weight said they opted out of activities if they knew a lot of physicality would be involved.
While the person understood that Beth might not be comfortable doing everything, they said she should use her common sense about which invitations to accept from her mother-in-law and which to decline.
One person told the woman that while she was not wrong for excluding Beth, she should have phrased it better so Beth didn’t feel bad about herself. The person suggested framing it as them caring for Beth rather than anything else.
Although one person thought it was not wrong of the woman to exclude Beth, they did believe it was wrong to lie to her about why she was being excluded. The person clarified:
“It’s because they go at different paces, and she complains about it. The cause may be far more than her weight.”
One person advocated for Beth, saying the issue wasn’t her weight but her fitness. The commenter noted that she could be physically fit and still be overweight, and the woman needed to assess if she was upset by Beth’s weight or her fitness.